Remember the shared goals in the office. That shared sense of purpose can really unite a team, so keep these objectives in mind when deciding how to deal with a backstabber. Redirect conversations and actions towards achieving these goals, which can help minimise personal conflicts.

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“Having a supportive network at work is also important. If you’re dealing with a backstabber, seek support from trusted colleagues, mentors and HR professionals, who can provide guidance and help you navigate the situation,” Hawker says.

Look for ways to build trust

Building trust can derail a backstabber, so be transparent, reliable and consistent in your actions. If the behaviour doesn’t stop, consider addressing the behaviour directly with them.

Choose a time and place where you can have a calm and private conversation. “Open and honest communication is always the best strategy,” Hawker says.

Explain that their actions have affected you and the team and that you feel that they are trying to discredit you. Ask them to please stop the behaviour. But don’t take this approach if you suspect that they are a narcissist because they will take pleasure in your suffering, she warns.

Be sure to jot down a couple of notes to remind yourself of what happened and that you asked them to stop, she says. If that’s not possible, you could ask your boss if they could offer mediation support.

“And if they turn around and stab you in the back again, either raise it again with them, or report the matter to the human resources team at your office, or to Fair Work,” Hawker says.

Remember that every workplace and situation is unique, and these strategies might not work for you. Hopefully in time, you will find that the person can be trusted. If not, at least you’ve learned a valuable lesson.

Of course, you still need to have a professional working relationship with this person, so bear in mind that you can never share anything private with a backstabber, and avoid them outside of work hours at all costs.

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