Each week, Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions on workplace, career and leadership in her advice column, “Got a Minute?” This week: a single parent looking for some flexibility, close quarters for co-workers and long service leave after transferring overseas.

I’m a single mum and full-time employee. I have worked for my employer for many years without time off for personal leave or a need for flexibility. However, I currently have a teenager with serious mental health issues, and am worried about them being home alone, due to threats of self-harm. The situation is impacting my health and work. I asked my employer if I could work from home one or two days a week, to keep an eye on my teen when they don’t go to school, but was refused. I was told to call my child on my lunch break. We don’t have an HR manager to escalate the issue to. If I resign, I’ll have to give four weeks’ notice and am likely to be here for long hours, training a replacement. I don’t know what to do.

I am so, so sorry you have had to experience such a lack of empathy and understanding. I would go so far as to say I am disgusted by the lack of decency your boss has demonstrated. You have shown loyalty to your employer for many years, yet they can’t seem to demonstrate the slightest compassion when you most need it. While a long-term switch to working from home may not ultimately have been the solution, surely your employer could have worked with you to find a suitable alternative. You deserve better.

My recommendation is you go to your own doctor and explain the stress you are experiencing at work and home. If they can provide you with a medical certificate for time off to look after your own health, your employer cannot ignore that. You should be able to access paid carer’s leave and I would recommend you contact Fair Work so they can explain your entitlements. Hopefully, once you have some time off and time to help your child, you will be in a better frame of mind to work out the next steps in terms of your employment. Do take care, and all the very best to you both.

Is it legal to make employees share a hotel room at a work conference? How do I say I don’t want to share without coming across as difficult or not a team player? The company is generous and the sharing isn’t a cost-cutting measure.

I hear you! I was asked to share a room with a colleague early in my career and even though it was with another woman I worked well with, we both would have much preferred having our own space and privacy after hours. It is just weird to be in such a small space when professional colleagues are brushing their teeth, putting on their pyjamas and generally doing whatever it is they (and you) do in privacy. Not cool at all.

That was 20 years ago, for me, and my understanding is it is not common now for employers to ask employees to share a hotel room. Even sharing apartments (where you have your own room but share the living and kitchen areas) is reasonably uncommon. I would find out if any of your other colleagues are also feeling uncomfortable about this (I am sure they are) and you can all go together to explain this is not a policy anyone is happy about. Putting aside the “ick” of having to share a small personal space with a colleague, this also increases their risk of something going wrong, especially if alcohol at work events is involved. It is a policy your employer would be well advised to avoid.

I have worked for the same company for more than 20 years, although some of it was done overseas. Do I have any long service leave entitlements?

My guess is, yes, you will be entitled to long service leave, but you are best to ask this question of your HR department or whoever manages your leave and entitlements. In some cases, when you transfer with the same organisation overseas, you end your contract with the Australian business and are employed by the overseas entity. In those cases, you might lose your entitlement to any Australian benefits you were accruing. But in most cases, this is something that will be discussed with you, so I would just chat with the right people at your end and, hopefully, your entitlements will have remained intact.

To submit a question about work, careers or leadership, visit kirstinferguson.com/ask (you will not be asked to provide your name or any identifying information. Letters may be edited).

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