Welcome back to ABC Politics for 2023. I'll be bringing you updates each Thursday afternoon in sitting weeks.
Aston you shall receive
The 47th parliament is only four sitting days into 2023, and already there are surprises galore for innocent Victorian voters who had the temerity to assume, at the most recent federal election, that their say was final.
Former Morrison government minister Alan Tudge revealed this afternoon that he would be seeing himself out, despite having been a lucky survivor of last year's Liberal wipe-out in Victoria.
There were, it's undeniable, some hard feelings post-election about Tudge – best known for his role as human services minister in the Robodebt scandal, his role as office Lothario in the Rachelle Miller scandal, and his mysterious yet compelling role in Scott Morrison's unforgettable 2022 Samuel Beckett adaptation "Is Alan Tudge Still In Cabinet?"
As already mentioned, he survived all this last year. But last week, when Miller gave frank evidence about her old boss at the Robodebt royal commission, the two controversies twined together into a horrific two-ply of doom, and the result will be a by-election in Aston soon.
The parliamentary gossip vultures love nothing better than a still-warm carcass to roost upon while speculating about succession, and Tudge had barely embarked upon his dismal walk back to the pavilion when the air came alive with chatter that former tennis pro and treasurer Josh Frydenberg would be staging a comeback via Aston.
And sure, there are huge dramatic possibilities here, including a reintroduction of active leadership tensions to a Liberal Party which has been without them for a truly unusual period of time. Aston, despite having a margin of only 2.8 per cent, may well be safer than it looks, given that it was a 10 per cent margin seat before Tudge developed a twinkle in his eye.
Disappointingly, however, the ABC understands Frydenberg is not yet ready to leave his family or his private sector career, known in the trade as "doing less with more."
Meanwhile, Aston voters should prepare themselves for some special love and attention.
When the light flashes green, start walking
Probably the least surprising surprise of the week, but Greens Senator Lidia Thorpe finally told her party on Monday: "It's not me… it's you."
Thorpe now sits on the crossbench as an independent, whence she can choose to oppose the Voice in peace while sitting with the likes of David Pocock, Ralph Babet, Jacqui Lambie and Pauline Hanson, who immediately complained about the seating arrangements.
Brett Worthington writes that Thorpe's move would have been very obvious to anyone who bothered to read her earrings.
And the Greens – with all the alacrity of a man tucking into a bacon and egg roll the second his vegan girlfriend walks out – announced that they would heretofore be supporting the Voice.
Thorpe has pledged her allegiance to the Black sovereign movement. Dana Morse prepared an explainer about what that is exactly and sat down for a talk to the newly emancipated Senator herself.
Altogether, the Voice was a dominant feature of the week, with Opposition Leader Peter Dutton hassling for detail while also insisting that his dream is for a bipartisan model.
He managed to get a concession from the government, too. The PM had previously expressed his intention to do away with the printed pamphlets outlining "Yes" and "No" cases to referendum voters, arguing that in the digital age such paper use was unnecessary. But after sustained complaints from the opposition, the government has relented, with the implicit eye roll of a teenage boy printing out emails for Nana.
Honey, I forgot to lock up the kids
It's 10 years since the Gillard government, slammed by boat arrivals of asylum seekers, made the painful decision to reinstate offshore processing on Nauru. Since then, we've had five prime ministers, and the detail of the enabling instrument (including its 10-year expiry date) seems to have faded from view.
Home Affairs Minister Clare O'Neill was forced to rectify the situation at speed, refreshing the mandate for offshore processing, as Tom Lowrey explains.
Given that these days Nauru is pretty much bipartisan policy between the major parties, it went through without incident beyond some understandable huffing and puffing from the opposition about administrative incompetence.
Awkwardly, the writer, advocate and former detainee Behrouz Boochani was at that very moment in Parliament House, the governing centre of a nation in which many of our elected representatives swore he would never set foot.
Quote of the day to crossbencher Helen Haines: "When Behrouz Boochani has just been in this Parliament House historically speaking to us about offshore detention, I find this is an excruciating and exquisite irony"
The goddamn coal is mine
Meanwhile, Tanya Plibersek did what no minister before her has ever done and blocked a coal mine under federal environmental laws. Sorry, Clive.
David Speers says the climate wars aren't over. Well, that was a quick ceasefire.
That's about it for this first week of parliament! Catch you next time