Posted
Those moments after the bomb exploded in Manchester must have been utterly terrifying.
Witnesses say there seemed to be seconds of silence and then the screams. Young children separated from parents, confusion, sirens.
They say the ambulances arrived quickly.
But in London, I was oblivious to it all … fast asleep just before 11:00pm when my mobile rang.
It is a call I've taken so many times now that when I see my producer's name appear on the screen I simply say, "What's happened?"
Because something always has.
When I arrived in London in September, 2015 I had a long list of stories I was hoping to do.
I recently found the notes I had made for the job interview — the rise of Russia, the EU economy and concerns over a British EU exit. I had scribbled in brackets after that, "highly unlikely".
I didn't write terrorist attacks.
Terror has become a big part of the job
And yet that has been a big part of this bureau's workload.
We have covered 14 attacks in Europe since I arrived — eight of those considered serious enough for us to scramble and be on the ground without hours.
This time we got a hire car and drove through the night, checking our phones, listening to the developments on the radio. Sleep was the furthest thing from our minds.
There were messages from friends and family wishing us well on such an awful story.
In the days that followed some of them confessed they'd switched off the news. It was too grim to watch it all repeated.
Are we covering these attacks in the right way?
Cait McMahon, the executive director of the Dart Centre for Journalism and Trauma, advised protecting young children.
That suggestion earned her criticism from some who thought she was saying children should have their heads buried in the sand.
Richard Lachmann, a political sociologist at the university at Albany, has previously said people are exposed to so much information about so many attacks that they start to blur together.
They have trouble connecting with yet more victims and they start to tune it out — terror fatigue.
There have been people on social media this time asking for the endless loop of panicked concert goers rushing for the exits to be paused.
And there's plenty of research that suggests constantly replaying the actual attack is what the terrorists want. It gives them oxygen and encourages others.
Instead the media should be focusing on the victims and survivors and a community coming together and showing strength.
It is a constant question for us as we head off to another breaking news story — often it's challenging enough simply to get there, to deal with the logistics, to absorb whatever horror awaits.
It is only now, many days after, that you have the time to reflect on how you reported and if you could have done better.
Unfortunately we will probably have practice in working through these dilemmas — Manchester is unlikely to be the last.
Topics: terrorism, unrest-conflict-and-war, journalism, information-and-communication, united-kingdom