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OK, remember I told you that I thought this latest House of Cards season was a return to the good old days? Punchy plots, tight scripting, great pacing...
Well, something went wrong in the final half of this season. Horribly wrong.
Even this House of Cards tragic was struggling towards the end.
Here is a recap of episodes 7-13 with spoilers ahead.
The Fonz has strapped on his waterskis
It's always immensely disappointing when a show you've come to love and invest so much time in suddenly decides to jump the shark.
For me, that moment came in the opening scene of episode 12.
Frank and his Secretary of State Catherine Durant (Jayne Atkinson) are having a pointed conversation about Catherine's plans to spill the beans on the Underwoods' corruption to the House judiciary committee.
Franks insists it will end badly for her but Catherine is determined to unburden herself. So be it, says Frank as he guides her towards a staircase... and then gives her an almighty push.
Cut to a shot of Catherine's seemingly lifeless body lying on a landing.
Now, this show has had many twists and turns (and falls) and many moments when credulity is sorely tested. But the President of the United States trying to knock off his own Secretary of State IN THE WHITE HOUSE was when the TV dorsal fins appeared.
And they kept circling until the very end.
Last drinks
Claire Underwood has learnt many things from Frank on their ride to the top. How to lie, how to backstab, how to blackmail.
It turns out the First Lady has now acquired another skill: How to kill.
Having already banished her lover Tom Yates (Paul Sparks) from the White House, Claire discovers the speechwriter has written a book that would destroy her and Frank.
She meets Tom in a Washington apartment. They enjoy a drink and then have sex in front of a raging fireplace, during which Tom starts gasping for breath and dies.
A death in the throes of passion? No, it turns out Claire had earlier spiked Tom's vodka.
As was the case with Zoe Barnes, a clear and present danger is neutralised and Claire shows an equal lack of remorse.
I have to say though that I didn't mourn poor Tom, who I thought was one of the more poorly drawn characters in the show. The scriptwriting did him no favours.
Neve cops it too
The finals episodes of season five were part political thriller, part slash movie as key characters were bumped off in quick succession.
Catherine Durant, Tom Yates, computer hacker Aiden Macallan, and finally the political staffer with a conscience, LeAnn Harvey (Neve Campbell).
LeAnn simply knew too much about the Underwoods, particularly their rigging of the presidential election.
She is last seen driving down a Washington road with a set of headlights bearing down on her from behind.
We later see the twisted wreckage of her and a knowing smirk from Frank in the White House.
All hail Usher!
Not the singer, but the genius political gun-for-hire, Mark Usher, whose rise is almost as precipitous as LeAnn Harvey's fall.
Played with menacing understatement by Campbell Scott, Usher's character begins the season working for Republican candidate, Will Conway, before switching horses after the election.
Well versed in the dark arts, he employs all sorts of political dirty tricks to help Frank and Claire through various crises.
His character was drawn up well before Steve Bannon came on the scene but, gee, the similarities are striking. One of the best roles in an otherwise disappointing season.
Stop talking to me!
OK, I used to love Frank's little asides to the camera as he went about his dirty deeds. It was a thrill to be part of the action.
But it was overkill towards the end of season five as Frank engaged us from places including the inauguration podium, a congressional committee room, assorted places within the White House and even an Ohio forest.
What was a novelty at the start became tiresome towards the end, no matter how darkly compelling Frank can be.
Hard as it is to believe, I just got sick of Kevin Spacey talking to me. Sorry, Kevin...
Poor Doug
Doug Stamper had a rough start to season five and, sadly for him, things didn't improve much in the second half.
His dubious relationship collapses, his power and influence is on the wane and, to top things of, Frank asks him to take the rap for Zoe Barnes' murder.
What's a sociopath to do?
The season ends with Doug dejectedly leaving the White House and then listening to weird motivational tapes in his living room while wearing a parolee's ankle bracelet.
All in all, a bravura performance by Michael Kelly (who I read is the exact opposite of Doug in the real life).
And finally, the plot twist we all saw coming...
This season saw a hardening of Claire Underwood from willing political (and criminal) accessory to a woman capable of beating Frank at his own game.
Sworn in as Vice-President, she went from doing shady deals with the Putin-esque Russian President Viktor Petrov (Lars Mikkelsen) to murdering her lover. The woman was capable of anything!
So, it came as little surprise to see her climbing to the top job when Frank suddenly announces his resignation to avoid inevitable impeachment. And what a steely president she turns out to be.
Within days she gives the order for US special forces to kill a terrorist leader, later announcing to the world: "We got him!"
The season ends with Claire dithering over whether to pardon Frank, who is stewing in a hotel room across the road from the White House.
The final shot is of Claire in the Oval Office, staring down the camera and declaring: "My turn!"
America finally has a female president ... just not the right one.
Goodbye, farewell, Amen...
Robin Wright says Donald Trump has stolen all of their ideas for a possible season six. More to the point, I'd suggest the producers have simply run out of ideas.
You got the impression they were going out of their way to make the storyline as wild and crazy as possible, to get ahead of the crazy real-life political events during last year's election campaign.
It all made for exhausting viewing and I ended House of Cards almost hankering for the relative stability of the Trump White House. Yes, it had that effect.
It's time to assign Frank and Claire to the gallery of great TV villains and perhaps focus on a spin-off.
I'd call it "Dangerous Doug".
Topics: arts-and-entertainment, film-movies, television, government-and-politics, united-states
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