Updated October 23, 2017 15:51:27

On Q&A the audience asks the questions. It's the mechanism that keeps the program connected to what ordinary people want to discuss, and ever since we've been talking on Q&A, we've been talking same-sex marriage.

In fact, the first question came before we really started: during the pilot. It wasn't for broadcast. The set was half finished. Tony Abbott was licking his wounds in opposition. Tanya Plibersek was Minister for Housing and Rachel was in the audience: "The question is not so much should we allow gay marriage, but why shouldn't we allow gay marriage?"

The Rudd government had recently blocked the ACT's move to allow same sex civil union ceremonies (just as the Howard government intended before it was swept from office). Traditional marriage was bipartisan policy, and Tanya Plibersek dutifully defended the government's policy, while host Tony Jones prodded and tested her trying to find a gap between policy and what she really thought.

Penny Wong vs. Labor

The disconnect between personal opinion and cabinet solidarity made Penny Wong a target for the Q&A audience. Her day job was climate policy — challenging enough — but every time she appeared questioners wanted to know how a gay woman could be part of a government that didn't support gay marriage.

Political hard-head Graham Richardson took the audience to task:

"Look, I'm amazed somewhat by these questions, really … There are a lot of people in the Labor Party who don't agree with this stuff. At the moment there's nowhere near a majority but there will be. There will be over time because Penny will work for it and it will get up in the end … She doesn't run the government, she's a part of it …There's a thing called cabinet solidarity … and if she wants to break it she gets nowhere. You'll lose someone who fights for your cause. That, my friends, is dumb. Big time dumb.

'When will you overcome your fear of gay people?'

By then Julia Gillard was prime minister. She and her government were still backing traditional marriage and still being quizzed on why, but as the election campaign intensified opposition leader Tony Abbott was on the spot. He was facing the Q&A audience in western Sydney when plumber, Liberal supporter and Vietnam vet Geoff Thomas stood up.

"I have a gay son … I overcame my ignorance and my fear of gays and the idea of gay marriage … when will you, sir, overcome your fear and ignorance of gay people and give them the dignity and respect that you'd happily give to all other Australians?"

The opposition leader insisted that he was offering respect if not marriage:

"I would always try to find it in my heart to give dignity and respect to people, regardless of their circumstances … I think that there are lots of terrific gay relationships, lots of terrific commitments between gay partners, but I just don't think that marriage is the right term to put on it … There are lots of loving relationships but that doesn't mean that they've all got to be married relationships."

Joe Hockey on Penny Wong's family

Julia Gillard formed a minority government and although she wasn't an enthusiast for gay or straight marriage, the efforts of Penny Wong, Tanya Plibersek and many others were rewarded the following year when Labor changed party policy to allow a conscience vote and open the door for same sex marriage.

Now there was a clear divide between the major parties, and it got personal when Joe Hockey and Penny Wong appeared on Q&A together.

Audience member Ross directed his question to Joe Hockey: "You said you wouldn't vote for marriage equality because you really believe children deserve a mother and a father. So I'm wondering if you could tell us and Senator Wong why you think you and Melissa make better parents than her and Sophie?"

JOE HOCKEY: Well, I don't believe we necessarily make better parents because we're a male and female. I must confess my view has changed since I've had children … I think in this life we've got to aspire to give our children what I believe to be the very best circumstances and that's to have a mother and a father … I'm not saying gay parents are any lesser parents but I am being asked to legislate in favour of something that I don't believe to be the best outcome for a child.

PENNY WONG: Well, there's almost nothing I can say. I think the first logical point is marriage has generally not been prerequisite for children, so … it is sad, I think, that some families have to feel that they have to justify who they are because when you say those things, Joe, what you're saying to not just me but people like me is that the most important thing in our lives, which is the people we love, is somehow less good, less valued, and if you believe that then you believe that but I have a different view.

TONY JONES: Is it hurtful?

WONG: Of course it is but, you know, I know what my family is worth.

Rudd: gay marriage is Christian

By the 2013 election campaign Kevin Rudd was back and he'd changed his mind. A Brisbane pastor and Christian broadcaster took him to task: "Jesus said a man shall leave his father and mother and be married and that's the Biblical definition. I just believe in what the Bible says and I'm just curious for you, Kevin, if you call yourself a Christian, why don't you believe the words of Jesus in the Bible?"

KEVIN RUDD: Well, mate, if I was going to have that view, the Bible also says that slavery is a natural condition. Because St Paul said ..."Slaves be obedient to your masters." ... I mean, for goodness sake, the human condition and social conditions change.

What is the fundamental principle of the New Testament? It is one of universal love. Loving your fellow man. And if we get obsessed with a particular definition of that through a form of sexuality, then I think we are missing the centrality of what the gospel, whether you call it a social gospel, a personal gospel or a spiritual gospel, is all about.

And therefore I go back to my question. If you think homosexuality is an unnatural condition then, frankly, I cannot agree with you based on any element of the science. And, therefore, if a person's sexuality is as they are made, they you've got to ask the second question. Should, therefore, their loving relationships be legally recognised and the conclusion I have reached is that they should [after] some many, many months and years of reflection in good Christian conscience.

Rudd's fiery Christian defence of gay marriage was a viral hit around the world, but it didn't turn the election: Tony Abbott was finally elected and as prime minister maintained his hard-line against any change to the Marriage Act.

Josh Thomas confronts Bob Katter

The debate continued with anger, passion, fear, outrage, heartbreak and occasionally a flash of light — like Josh Thomas confronting Bob Katter in Rockhampton:

"If you're going to go out there as an elected member of Parliament and deny the existence of homosexuals in your electorate, which is kooky — adorable but kooky — of course people are going to get upset, right? — they exist, there is an app called Grindr, I will put it on your phone — you disenfranchise the community … If you are trying to talk about mental health and on one hand saying this is very important but these guys don't matter, then the whole community just falls apart."

What's next?

Tony Abbott went and Malcolm Turnbull became prime minister, bringing a personal commitment to marriage equality, but pledging to maintain the government's policy on marriage. Now after two years, an election and a defeated proposal for a plebiscite, the Same-Sex Marriage Postal Survey is almost completed. And through it all the questions have kept coming.

Religious broadcaster Stephen Crittenden was the first to answer that first question on the 2008 Q&A pilot:

"Five years ago I really didn't really care about gay marriage and I really even now don't know many gay people who are you know champing at the bit … but I've shifted on this …The principle in the end comes down to justice. It's justice in the end that wins the argument. You always have this pattern: the left puts up the argument and there's a huge outcry. The right fights for 10 years and then suddenly the entire population looks around and goes, 'Hang on a minute, it's time isn't it?' And it seems in this country everyone seems to make a snap decision to go across that line together and I can see that happening in this issue."

Next month, almost 10 years after he made that prediction, we'll know if he was right.

Peter McEvoy is the executive producer of Q&A, which this week has a same-sex marriage debate special.

Topics: gays-and-lesbians, community-and-society, marriage, television, arts-and-entertainment, australia

First posted October 23, 2017 11:58:09