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Posted: 2020-07-04 06:00:00

Try to practise mindfulness. If you meditate, or do yoga, they will help. If not, take some quiet time, and focus on your breathing. When thoughts come, notice them, and then gently bring your attention back to your breathing. This moment is our only reality.

Remember to love yourself, be kind to yourself, and have compassion for your human frailty. All of us live with an internal dialogue, and are badgered by that negative voice telling us we have failed, are weak and pathetic, and are not capable of change. If you buy into that narrative it will ensure that you do fail.

Do not despair. You are not starting from scratch.

A counsellor once asked me how I would react to someone else in my situation. I said I would feel sorry for them, and make excuses for them. I was shocked when she replied: "So, you think you’re better than everyone else, do you?"

She meant why did I think that I should be able to live up to higher standards than other mortals? Practise extending to yourself the compassion you would give to others.

Take things slowly. Break down the changes you want to make into baby steps. You are not going to snap back into your pre-COVID-19 form overnight.

Going back to the gym is a great way to begin, even if you start with only one class a week. You might hate it at first, and pull up stiff, sore, and aware of the drop off in your fitness levels. Do not despair. You are not starting from scratch. There is muscle memory, and you might be surprised by the way you steadily improve. Also, you will be proud that you went, and you will have started moving your body, releasing feel-good endorphins. Exercise is a natural antidepressant.

Sense of achievement

That sense of achievement will give you the strength to get back into healthier patterns of eating and drinking. Comfort food and alcohol cheer you up in the short term, but they sabotage your mood. Alcohol is a known depressant and fatty, stodgy foods make you lethargic. Also, the pleasure of the binge is soon overtaken by guilt and feelings of failure. This negative self-talk then drives you to find comfort, and you get into a vicious cycle.

The Greeks used to preach "everything in moderation" to which I like to add "including moderation". The odd binge can act like a pressure release valve.

You will lapse, and be unable to resist those hot chips, or a few drinks. Enjoy, forgive yourself, then draw a line in the sand and move on. Guilt and self-recrimination will only undermine your resolve without changing anything.

At this difficult time, practising The Work of Byron Katie has helped my partner and me. This is best understood by listening to the audiobook version of Loving What Is: 4 Questions That Can Change Your Life.

Email your questions to [email protected]

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