Good day to you, dear reader, as we bid this sorry week farewell.

1. The whole state of Victoria has entered a five-day snap lockdown, as Melbourne exposure sites top 100. Announced yesterday, this fifth lockdown for the state reimplements stay-at-home orders, restricts exercise to two hours, and reintroduces the 5 kilometre radius rule. Cases are set to rise in the state amid reports that a confirmed COVID-19 case attended the France versus Wallabies game on Tuesday, along with 20,000 other spectators.

2. Greater Sydney meanwhile is bracing for a spike in cases this morning. Of the 65 cases reported yesterday, 35 of those were infectious in the community. The figure will need to reach zero before the lockdown is eased, the Premier confirmed on Thursday.

3. As a result, New South Wales is staring down the barrel of 200,000 job losses. Representing a quarter of the national economy, economists say a 7-week Sydney lockdown will take Australia’s recovery backwards, pushing us into negative growth.

4. The warnings come as Australia’s unemployment rate continues to make good progress, falling to 4.9%, the lowest level in a decade. A deeper dig into the data though shows a more complicated picture, as hours worked actually fall — a result of on-again, off-again lockdowns.

5. Australian fitness empire F45 is now worth $2 billion after successfully listing on Wall Street. Despite an uneven first day on the boards, it puts its owners in line for a big pay day, having started the franchise back in 2013 out of a Paddington gym.

6. An 18-year-old will accompany Jeff Bezos to space on his Blue Origin flight. After the winner of a $40 million auction pulled out due to ‘scheduling issues’, Dutch teenager Oliver Daemen will replace him for an undisclosed price, paid for by his hedge fund manager father. Hope that’s his birthday and Christmas presents wrapped into one.

7. As billionaires escape to space, the lungs of the earth are almost caput. Parts of the Amazon rainforest are now emitting more carbon dioxide than they absorb, a new study said Wednesday. Troubling news for the plebs, left without a ticket off this burning planet.

8. Closer to home, the gap between the haves and have nots is also on full display. Australians on $150,000 or more a year are twice as optimistic they’re in line for a raise this year. The rest of the country isn’t quite so buoyant, with the worst-paid also the ones involved in more insecure work. It has created what some are calling a ‘two-speed recovery’.

9. The world’s most powerful central bank has taken another swipe at cryptocurrencies, as they continue their steady decline. US Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell has called cryptocurrencies a ‘failed’ payment mechanism and insisted stablecoins need to be regulated pronto, fearing they could be used to manipulate markets. Tell us what you really think, Jerome.

10. Instagram ads are getting weirder as bizarre products like ‘ear wands’ and ‘pussy mist’ begin showing up on news feeds. There’s a good reason too, promoted by a surge in smaller businesses advertising on the platform which has circumvented normal filtering of ads and regulatory oversight. Read about the whole fascinating trend and what medical experts make of the products, here.

BONUS ITEM

You’d be forgiven for missing it, but yesterday ScoMo went on the Kyle and Jackie O show to belatedly deny rumours he had a mishap at a McDonald’s family restaurant in Engadine in the late ’90s, closing the book on the sordid story once and for all.

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