With more than $140,000 on the line, it all came down to half a point on The Block’s first judgement day of the season.
After a particularly fierce session, which saw Shaynna Blaze and Marty Fox repeatedly going toe-to-toe in a “boring” debate, Mimi and Kristian’s big, blue bathroom nudged out Courtney and Grant’s beige offering.
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Maybe it was the soaring heat or something in the Phillip Island water, but Shaynna and Marty certainly came into this season with all guns blazing as Darren Palmer played Switzerland.
The root of their disagreement? What makes a bathroom boring.
After touring Paige and Jesse’s unfinished bathroom, where Marty took the couple to task for falling at the first hurdle, the real estate agent and the interior designer could not see eye-to-eye on Courtney and Grant’s “moderterranian” bathroom.
Shaynna wanted to see more drama, arguing that holiday homes were the place to get creative with styling.
“I don’t want to come to Phillip Island and be in Melbourne,” she said. “I’m not about Instagram-able moments. I am about: ‘How do you feel when you walk in here?’”
Rolling his eyes, Marty argued that Melburnians wanted the same sophistication they that they enjoy whilst using the facilities in their Albert Park and South Yarra homes as they do when they have a weekend in Phillip Island to see the penguin parade.
“They are not looking for fads,” he sniped. “They want that same luxury, tonal feel that they’ve got at their home.”
After listening to both sides, Darren said a lot without saying much at all. Basically, he sat on the fence. This would become his position for the entire day.
The tension continued over at the boys’ bathroom. I say “boys’ bathroom” when really it was a one-man job, after plumber Ricky was left to run the show.
With Haydn off in his baby bubble for the week, Ricky learned “there’s a massive difference between having four hands and two hands” on site. That didn’t stop him from taking time to channel his inner David Hasselhoff with a slow motion run on the beach followed by a quick dip.
Haydn arrived back on site just in time to call tools down, give Ricky’s handiwork his seal of approval and hear the final judgments.
An impressed, Marty said it was “tremendous execution when you consider they were one man down”.
Interestingly, after criticising House Two for boring her, Shaynna felt the boys’ efforts were too busy. She pointed out the mismatched shades of blue in the door, walls and tiles (hardly surprising when you look at the pair’s technicolour wardrobes).
“It’s a bit childish,” she said.
Seeing the chaotic colour palette and clash of styles, Darren suggested they do a flat lay (basically a mood board for houses) to plan out the tones and finishes of the entire house to make sure they tie together.
Whatever concern Shaynna had about this season being a bland affair truly went out the window when the trio headed into Kylie and Brad’s bathroom.
Reinforcing her earlier position, Shaynna loved the creativity the room but not Kylie’s homemade neon artwork.
As Shaynna gushed about how the bathroom had grabbed her attention, Marty interrupted: “It’s grabbed me for all the wrong reasons” while Darren pulled faces.
Marty wasted no time in sticking the boot in, remarking that they would need to “bank on a Collingwood supporter to buy the house” given the polarising black and white colour scheme. His feedback reduced Kylie to tears.
“The only thing I like in this room is the skylight because when I am looking up, I don’t have to see anything else in this room. If they continue this theme through the house, it’s going to be the biggest disaster we have seen in 20 seasons.” Ouch.
Finally, Darren came to the party with a strong opinion on a room. He loved the dark palette, enthusing that having a “black shack” on The Block would be “awesome.”
He was less enamoured with the herringbone tiles, wood feature and light fixtures which he sniped gave off a “mid 2010s nightclub vibe”.
“And we have the glaring omission of a bath,” he said, pointing out that families with young children would want somewhere to wash the sand off after visiting the beach.
Little does he know that there’s a big black tub sitting idle that couldn’t fit in the room.
Who said black was basic?
FINAL SCORES
Jesse and Paige 18.5
Courtney and Grant 28
Ricky and Haydn 24
Kylie and Brad 22
Kristian and Mimi 28.5
MISSED AN EPISODE?
EP 3: Block builder already breaking rules incurs foreman’s wrath
EP 2: ‘Who the f**k wants to sleep near their kids?’ — Block couple baffled
EP 1: ‘Not good at anything’: Bathroom fireworks kick off on The Block
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