A generational shift

For Geelong-based Anna Clausen, 33, her tattoo serves as a reminder of her fourth miscarriage. After two miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy, Clausen and her partner were expecting for a fourth time. In December 2022, they reached their 13-week scan – the furthest along they had gotten in a pregnancy.

After Clausen miscarried, it was her mother-in-law’s idea to get a tattoo to commemorate it. She chose three flowers: a daisy, which was the name she gave to the baby she had lost; a daffodil for the month she had lost her and a sprig of gypsophila, commonly known as baby’s breath.

For Clausen, whose tattoo is on her forearm, the public nature of it is significant. Her grandmother had seven pregnancies that ended in miscarriage or stillbirth and didn’t talk about them, as it wasn’t common to do so at the time. “It wasn’t really spoken about. That was just the way it was,” says Clausen. “I feel like I can make a little bit of a difference if I talk about it.”

Amanda Tipping, general manager of Pink Elephants, an organisation that offers resources and peer support for those who have experienced early pregnancy loss, says many of the people she sees getting these kinds of tattoos are doing so to “share and reduce that stigma” surrounding miscarriage.

Wollongong-based Natalie Bull, 43, wanted to get a tattoo to commemorate her first miscarriage but put it off when she fell pregnant again. However, after her third pregnancy loss, she booked an appointment. The three feathers on her forearm have the dates of each loss and they are the first and only tattoos that she has. When she got them, she asked the tattoo artist to leave room in case she lost any more.

“Everyone kept saying plant a flower, plant a tree or something and I thought, ‘well, when that dies, that’s me going to be feeling guilty for that memorial for something that’s passed’,” she says.

“And it opens up the story for other people to ask ‘what does that symbolise?’, which then helps me own my story even more.”

However, these kinds of tattoos aren’t always there to spark conversation.

Lara Melrose, 32, doesn’t tell everyone the meaning behind the small tattoo on her wrist. Matching with her partner who has a similar tattoo, Melrose, of the Gold Coast, had 24 in Roman numerals. “My husband and I met on the 24th, we got married on the 24th and the date that we lost our son was on the 24th,” she says.

Melrose’s husband also has the same tattoo and, when people ask, they can choose whether to talk about their loss or not.

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