Question:

I am in my last two months of work before going on maternity leave, which also means my baby bump is quite visible. This has led to a number of my colleagues feeling compelled to touch my belly without asking which is just awful.

I am a shy person and am so uncomfortable with this touching and need it to stop. Why is this happening?

Answer:

I did what I thought would be a quick browse of the internet before sitting down to respond to your question, hoping to get a sense of what other women have experienced when it comes to colleagues touching their pregnant bodies, and … good grief!

It was like reading an anthology of understated horror stories. In place of zombies seeking brains for consumption were … well, zombies seeking abdomens for caressing. I found tale after tale of people lurching forward to touch women without asking – in workplaces, but also in shops, restaurants and the street.

I asked psychologist Dr Linda Dalton what this is all about and she gave me her expert opinion, while also passing on her own troubling anecdote.

“Sadly for women there still seems to be a somewhat immature response to the sight and feel of a pregnant belly.”

Dr Dalton said as part of this phenomenon a kind of zone is constructed separate from the rest of society where touching (“I’ll just pat bubby on the head”), but also comments like “I can see what you’ve been up to”, are considered somehow acceptable.