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Not every boss and employee get on well. Sometimes the less said between colleagues the better. But there always comes a time in any job where two people who work closely together, no matter the level of rapport between them, have to talk something through. This is a prime example of that.

Your boss didn’t need to apologise. They didn’t need to go into elaborate explanations. They didn’t need to pretend you get on better than you do and that “It was just a case of numbers”. But they did need to say something. At the very least they needed to inform you, just so that you weren’t surprised by the news.

It may have been an uncomfortable chat for both of you, but you’re adults; it wouldn’t have been torturous. And the discomfort that’s come from not saying anything is so much worse – certainly for you and I expect also for some of your more thoughtful co-workers.

It’s implausible, but not impossible, that your boss happens to have become really good friends with a large number of employees in your team but not you. Even if that’s exactly what’s happened and your non-invitation isn’t the cutting slight it seems, their failure to mention even a word of it to you, let alone who was attending, is thoughtless to an almost absurd degree. The silence was so loud it must have seemed to you like a provocation.

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This, as I said, may not be an example of bullying, but if it’s not just outright nastiness, it seems like a clear example of woeful communication skills and poor management.

What to do now? It probably goes without saying, but the discussion horse has bolted. If you still love parts of your job, despite feeling ostracised, you may want to attempt to clear the air. But I get the strong impression this would be a futile exercise.

If you have the opportunity, desire and wherewithal, I would take the energy you might be expending on worrying about the snub and put it all into seeking a new job where you’re appreciated rather than extravagantly disregarded.

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