Add Category
Linda has a bit of money set aside for if she ever needs to "fly the coop", aka her marriage.
"[The funds] ensure I can cover expenses for myself and my two children, should something happen to my husband, or should something happen in our relationship," 39-year-old Linda from Meanjin/Brisbane says.
The money sits in a bank account solely in her name. Her husband has the same arrangement.
'Escape money' or a 'get out fund' is typically designed to provide someone the financial freedom to leave a relationship if things break down.
Linda and her husband openly discuss their escape funds, but for some people, it's a secret.
Women experiencing financial abuse, for example, may need to hide money to escape domestic violence.
Escape funds may seem less relevant than they were for our mothers and grandmothers, as women increasingly have financial independence, explains financial educator Lacey Filipich.
But she says in some relationships, "men still have more financial power".
And structural barriers like the gender pay gap and the motherhood penalty are a stark reminder of why women need access to their own money.
So should all women have an escape fund? We spoke to Ms Filipich and other experts to find out.
Reframing the concept of an escape fund
Ms Filipich, based near Goomburrup/Bunbury in regional WA, prefers to describe it as 'staying money'.
"As in, 'I could leave if I want to, but I choose to stay' … it's a positive reframe," she says.
While she says having money set aside for a relationship breakdown isn't necessarily essential, having a level of financial independence is.
"It's really empowering for people to have money in an account that they are the only signatory to.
"I recommend both people in a couple have that — it doesn't have to be a secret — but you need to make sure the other person can't access it.
"It's not saying 'I don't trust you', it's just common sense."
Helen Poynten is the regional manager at Relationships Australia Queensland.
She says in relationships where there are high levels of trust and transparency, someone having an escape fund wouldn't be seen as a threat.
But others may see it as a type of 'financial infidelity'.
"Every couple is different and there are grades of that transparency and openness," Ms Poynten says.
Ms Filipich says being comfortable with your partner having their own staying fund is a "sign of trust".
"The only people who wouldn't want you to have your own account would be those who want to be able to control all the money in the relationship, for whatever reason.
"That could actually be an early red flag."
A sense of safety
Women will often take steps in their lives to make them feel safe — whether that's to do with finances, or when walking alone at night, says Ms Poynten.
"That sense of [needing] safety is always with us, for good or bad.
"And if that escape fund helps a person feel safe, then it's doing its job."
For women experiencing domestic and family violence, having resources to escape is vital, explains Serina McDuff, acting CEO at Respect Victoria.
"So often, women and children, for safety, have to jump in the car and leave with only the clothes on their back."
Financial abuse is often present in such relationships, making gathering resources to leave safely even more difficult.
While there is a government crisis payment available to people experiencing domestic or family violence, Ms McDuff says not everyone will qualify.
"Therefore they may be taking measures themselves to save the money they need to leave that relationship."
Something all women should consider
Ms McDuff says financial independence in a relationship is important for all women, otherwise it can become difficult to leave down the track.
"It's just incredibly important for all women to be in charge of their own finances, to have their own accounts, equal access to shared money, and keep having open conversations about how money is shared and spent."
Ms Filipich says couples having access to money separately from each other is "risk management", and can relieve stress in the relationship.
"This is the one place I find every couple will benefit.
"There's not many other [money] rules, but this one will make things far more fair and comfortable."
This article contains general information only. You should consider obtaining independent professional advice in relation to your particular circumstances.
ABC Everyday in your inbox
Get our newsletter for the best of ABC Everyday each week