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Posted: 2024-05-01 10:41:30

The daughter of a woman murdered by her husband on Christmas Day three years ago has told those gathered at one of many vigils held around Australia the thought of dozens of families going through a similar ordeal to hers is almost too much to bear.

A crowd of people gathered in a park for a candlelight vigil.

A candlelight vigil was held on the parliament lawns in Hobart to pay respect and remember victims of domestic violence around the country.(ABC News: Maren Preuss)

Romany Wake, who was 19 when the murder happened, said Christmas Day was "a day that was meant to be joyous".

"But as I've now discovered, statistically, Christmas Day is one of those days where incidences and murders through domestic, family and gendered violence is at its highest."

Rachel Wake squatting down and pushing a toddler on a bike

Rachel Wake's daughter told those at the Hobart vigil "my mum shouldn't be a statistic. She should be here with me".(Supplied: Facebook/Rachel's Voice)

Ms Wake said despite all of the advice given to women as to how to protect themselves in all situations, violence was still happening — often accompanied by commentary blaming the victim.

"Did you walk home with a friend? Did you have your hair tied up with your skirt? Why did you drink the drink? Did you say something to him? Did you say nothing to him? Did you get a restraining order on him? Why? Didn't you say no? Why didn't you leave?"

Ms Wake said the amount of women killed at the hands of men in Australia as "not normal", saying the rate was akin to "one woman or child in every 3.5 days".

"How on earth do people think that is normal? [So many] families are experiencing the same situation I went through almost three years ago."

A crowd of people gathered in a park for a candlelight vigil.

Attendees at the Hobart vigil, which was held on the parliament lawns.(ABC News: Maren Preuss)

Ms Wake spoke the names of many of the victims, adding "you are forever and always remembered" — followed up with a warning.

"To those in power, I'm coming for you. How many more women do we have to lose before you start to take [responsibility]? My mum shouldn't be a statistic. She should be here with me."

"You better start listening now because enough is enough. I'm going to get justice for everyone. I am my mother's daughter."

Ms Wake finished by addressing her mother with a familiar expression they once shared.

"I'll see you later alligator. I love you."

The congregation on Hobart's parliament lawns was one of three candlelight vigils that took place across the state, with similar events in Launceston and Ulverstone.

Colourful cut outs representing women in small terracotta pots beside tea light candles.

Cut outs played a part at many vigils, this group pictured at Launceston.(ABC News: Ashleigh Barraclough)

Little girl holds a candle at a vigil for domestic violence victims.

A child holds a candle at the Melbourne vigil.(ABC News: Danielle Bonica)

Melbourne

A record number of people gathered at the Family Violence Memorial Garden in East Melbourne for a vigil with landmarks lit up in purple, as was the case in many cities and towns.

Boyd Unwin, whose daughter Katie was murdered by her partner in 2018, said the event was important for victims and their families.

"[The vigil] is a way of respectfully acknowledging many of the lives lost, most of them in horrific circumstances," he said.

"For a moment we can reflect on the victims' lives not as statistics but as loved ones with valued family members."

A women holding a candle wipes away tears

A woman attending the Melbourne vigil wipes away tears.(ABC News: Danielle Bonica)

Woman holds up a sign among a group of people.

A victim's name is held aloft at the Melbourne vigil.(ABC News: Danielle Bonica)

Boyd said he wants Katie to be remembered for who she was and not what happened to her.

"Our place has never been the same since … whether it be the phone calls you get or her walking through the front door and taking over the whole house basically because of her presence.

A crowd, some sitting in front, others standing behind, at a night vigil.

A large crowd gathered in Melbourne for their vigil.(ABC News: Danielle Bonica)

Sydney

In Sydney's eastern suburbs, the rain held off for just long enough on Wednesday to allow a vigil to continue, with domestic violence survivors and politicians speaking about the need to bring about change.

A person bends down to place a rose at a memorial in a park.

Roses being left at the Randwick vigil.(ABC News: Xanthe Gregory)

Lived experience advocate Nadine Taylor said the fact that one woman is killed by a man every four days is an "epidemic" and called on governments to declare a national emergency.

"The cost of living crisis is leaving women with the choice of staying with their abusers or facing homelessness," Ms Taylor said.

Nadine Taylor smiles at the camera.

Nadine Taylor called on Australian governments to declare a national emergency in order to properly address the problem.(ABC News: Xanthe Gregory)

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