We’ve all known people who once loved each other but who have now parted ways, be it partnership or family estrangement. Some try to repair their union, citing remnants of love while holding on to the anchor of the Titanic. I wonder what response might be forthcoming if they were to be asked one simple question: “But do you like them?” While misery and love have had long-term committed relationships in myths, sonnets, novels and screenplays, such tragedy seems to be avoided when the narrative is about liking someone.

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Love is wonderful, of course, but not at the expense of all the other wonders that should come with loving someone. The things that make the relationship an enriching part of your existence. Kindness, sharing, giving, receiving, joy, comfort, laughter and trust. The things that make you like someone.

As for me, my highest endorsement – whether you be family, friend or one of the people I follow online – is that I should like you or what you shared. Love is complicated and riddled with more trap doors, trip wires and snake pits than an Indiana Jones movie. Love is an expectation, a default in many relationships. Being liked, on the other hand, must be earned and maintained. If you really want to know what someone thinks of you, ask them if they like you.

Jo Pybus is a freelance writer.