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In a parliamentary week that has so far involved a pitched battle over how many pages the Uluru Statement is, a bold Coalition stand against cheaper drugs and a fresh bingle over that suburban barbecue-stopper, the legality of Israeli settlements, it is entirely fitting that the session should conclude with the unveiling of a Kevin Rudd official portrait so auto-parodic that no-one could stay grumpy.
More on the other stuff in a minute, but honestly … this portrait.
It's been 10 long years in the making, during which decade conjecture grew among parliamentary art fans as to whether Australia's 26th prime minister was having his likeness micro-engraved on a grain of rice, or perhaps negotiating with Annie Leibovitz.
Turns out the staunch republican settled on Aussie expat Ralph Heimans, who has painted more queens than a Mardi Gras makeup artist.
The portrait itself, which depicts a bearded Dr Rudd seemingly playing chess with his cat Louie while browsing through some books in Mandarin, is utterly bewitching, prompting more questions with every minute of careful scrutiny.
Why does Dr Rudd appear to live in the National Gallery's Indigenous art wing? Who is winning the chess game?
Different news outlets had different reads. News.com.au reported that the former PM was shown "at his kitchen table". The Sky News live broadcast broke the news that this was "the first official portrait to include a family pet … Mr Rudd's dog Abby". (Abby, a Golden Retriever who died three years ago, was understandably unavailable for comment.)
Nevertheless, the 26th PM has now been well and truly hung. Gaps on the wall yet remain for PMs Number 28 (Turnbull) and 29 (Morrison). Technology-mad Mr Turnbull has in the past threatened to appear by hologram, while it's understood Mr Morrison is considering one main portrait plus five other secret ones that we don't find out about right away.
Everyone is getting very tired
A distinct pattern is emerging to parliament.
Opposition Leader Peter Dutton is very keen to discuss Anthony Albanese's signature first-term policy (the Voice referendum), whereas the PM is visibly losing his patience with the breadth and ambition of the "No" campaign, which — after spending most of last week bellowing "DO YOU SUPPORT A TREATY OR NOT?" — has spent this week happily pursuing the question of whether or not the Uluru Statement is indeed a one-page document or a 26-page one.
Embroideries of the Voice — that it will change Australia Day, or allow traditional owners to charge white Australians to go to the beach, or that it will put extra strain on Sam Kerr's calf muscle — are proliferating freely online.
The PM went on Insiders and made it clear that there's no Plan B if the Voice fails.
Which is all very good, but technically there isn't even a Plan A at this stage, given that the date of the vote is still yet to be announced.
Polling published in News Corp papers this week showed that the Yes vote is now behind in every state and territory. But Yes campaigners remain, writes Dana Morse, optimistic that there are up to 40 per cent of voters still undecided.
The West is a trouble spot, as is clear from the frequency of Linda Burney's visits there of late. So this week's curve-ball that the WA government has decided to repeal its Aboriginal Cultural Heritage legislation (otherwise known as the Could You Please Not Blow Up Any More Juukan Gorges law) will mean … what? Anything? Nothing?
Rent rises potentially triggering
It is generally accepted that human beings require food, oxygen, water and shelter in order to keep on trucking. To which the Australian parliament effectively responded, this week: "Pick any three!"
The government's $10 billion bronto-package to fund affordable housing is being stalled by a joint effort from the Greens (it's not enough, plus we want rent freezes!) and the opposition (it's too much!) with the result that the legislation is now a potential double dissolution trigger. You know, if the government decided to attempt an eviction of its Greens tormentors at a cataclysmic electoral event.
The hopes of those actually requiring a roof over their heads have now swivelled to next week's National Cabinet meeting in Brisbane. Rent freezes? Unlikely, as Jake Evans reports.
But with the Greens staking out renters, as Insiders host David Speers observes, Labor's starting to look politically homeless.
Just say no to cheap drugs
In other business, the opposition declared it would use its votes in the Senate to overturn the government's decision to halve the prices of around 100 pharmacy drugs from next month, then swiftly changed its mind, possibly after reflecting on how that might look for a party that professes to be worried about the cost of living.
So instead, shadow health minister Anne Ruston has asked the government to reconsider. That's showing 'em.
Staying with the Coalition for a moment, it was reported this week that a coal-to-nuclear strategy is to be at the heart of the opposition's proposed energy plan. Given that the government this very morning abandoned plans for a low-level nuclear waste dump in regional SA, starting from scratch is a HUGE call for the opposition.
The presence of Kevin Rudd in the building might jog the memories of Coalition old-timers as to what happened the last time they took an open-minded nuclear approach to an election. That was in 2007, and Mr Rudd promptly toured Australia for five weeks asking marginal seat voters whether they'd like reactors in their backyards, at the end of which period he was prime minister.
One more mums and dads issue to crop up this week: The government's changed its wording on Israeli settlements in the West Bank to call them "illegal".
Dutton immediately accused the PM of making "unilateral" policy and letting down our US allies, and every pub galah with an interest in the Middle East peace process duly weighed in.
It's always amusing, by the way, to see the same people who argue that nothing Australia does will ever make a whit of difference to climate change suddenly insisting that our choice of words could tip over the two-state solution, but there you go. It's been a hectic week, but the Coalition's standing among pro-nuclear Jewish pharmacists has never been higher. A narrow but undeniable path to victory!
LoadingConsult me once more, but with feeling
The gift that kept on giving during the winter break was the Senate's inquiry into the big four consulting firms. Someone might want to check if those organisations had anything to do with the relentless scheduling of Matildas games on Monday nights, prompting delays to the broadcast of Four Corners' expose on the matter.
The latest twist in the consultant saga (which as a reminder has prompted a criminal investigation and a whole lot of terminations at PwC … and led to accusations that the AFP commissioner misled the Senate) was that the consulting firm KPMG overcharged defence while raking in billions of dollars. It then emerged that the Department of Defence spent billions on consulting firms PwC, Deloitte, EY, KPMG.
And in what can only be described as LONG OVERDUE, legislation has been tabled to deal with sexual and workplace misconduct in Parliament House.
Speaking of things that are long overdue, we leave you with the news that Kitchen Cabinet is back on air starting Tuesday. Eight new episodes with figures from the 47th Parliament: Dai Le, Peter Dutton, Linda Burney, Lidia Thorpe, Karen Andrews, Bridget McKenzie, Anika Wells and Jordon Steele-John. On at 8pm! Or any time, on ABC iview.